Article 38:"Rethinking" Mental Toughness: Beyond the Hype Word

“Mental toughness.”

It’s a phrase thrown around locker rooms, practice fields, and highlight reels- a badge of honor that athletes, parents, and coaches alike aspire to. But what does it really mean to be mentally tough? Is it the stoic athlete who never blinks or misses that shot? The iron-willed competitor who never sheds a tear or admits fatigue? Or is there something deeper, more nuanced, and more human at the core of this concept?

Let’s move beyond the buzzword and break down the real qualities that define genuine mental toughness- and why our understanding of it might need to change.

The Hype vs. The Reality

The traditional narrative glorifies the “unbreakable” athlete:

- Playing through pain, no matter the cost (prone to injury and then serious mental setbacks)

- Hiding emotions, doubts, or struggles (not healthy by any means)

- Never asking for help, even when drowning (a closed mindset)

But this myth can be not only misleading- it can be damaging! It stages athletes for burnout, injury, and isolation, and leaves parents and coaches unsure how to truly support their young competitors. But, you might be thinking, well, my athlete never opens up to me and tells me the truth. I have to pry it out of them. This can be extremely difficult, as I have worked with many athletes who at first, are fairly quiet, and many fear that if they mention fearful topics, it will get back to their parents or coaches, and they will be removed from the team. Far from the truth! But to them, this is their truth!

Let’s look at some real-life scenarios and what to look for:

Scenario 1: The captain who hides her growing anxiety from teammates, worried it will be seen as weakness. She keeps pushing, but her performance quietly drops and her joy for the sport fades.

Scenario 2: The freshman who bottles up frustration after being benched, especially after he played as a started prior to his high school years. He tells himself to “toughen up,” but without a safe outlet, he withdraws from teammates and loses motivation.

Scenario 3: The star player who plays through a lingering injury, determined not to let the team down. He never tells the coach, and what could have been a minor setback becomes a season-ending injury.

In each of these situations, you should be able to identify that the myth of mental toughness-equating toughness with silence and stoicism- actually hurts the athlete in the long run. So, you should ask yourself...

What Is Real Mental Toughness?

True mental toughness isn’t about being unbreakable; it’s about being adaptable, resilient, and honest with yourself and your support system. It’s about: Self-Awareness- Knowing your limits and recognizing when you’re struggling. This can be hard to admit when we have too much pride, but once you get through that pride, you begin to see that honesty and self-awareness are truly at the core of resilient-driven athletes.

Next, we have athlete who seek support! Reaching out to coaches, teammates, or professionals when you need help is a key aspect in being honest with yourself AND true to yourself! When athletes can overcome the fear of "what others think" they are breaking barriers in developing mental toughness! Next we have flexibility. Adjusting your mindset and approach when things don’t go as planned is a key aspect in mental toughness. We know that not everything will go our way or as intended, but that is the beauty in what really defines our optimal levels. It says, "hey, not today!" And, we embrace this challenge, even when we don't always want to! And this leads us into our next, emotional honesty. An areas that is so hard for many! Allowing yourself to feel and process difficult emotions, not just suppress them. Does this sound familiar? The stay quiet mentality. The do not speak up or talk to your parents or coaches in fear of disappointment, embarrassment, or judgement, or simply because you don't feel like getting into it. We've all been there, but remember, this is an area that you must break to achieve that level of resilience! And last, we have the ability to have growth after setbacks! Using challenges as opportunities to learn, rather than as proof of weakness. This is a prime area that we see. It is good for someone like myself to see how you crumble, because this allows me to identify how you react through all kinds of things like, body language. When you can rise to the top after self defeat, you are on your way to mastering mental toughness!

Key Takeaways for Parents, Coaches, and Athletes

Parents: Encourage your athlete to talk about challenges and emotions. Model vulnerability and show that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Coaches: Create a team culture where mental health is prioritized. Check in with players off the field. Celebrate the courage it takes to be honest and challenge your athletes when they are not.

Athletes: Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your ability to “push through” everything. Mental toughness means knowing when to step back, reset, and reach out.

Ask yourself this:

1. When was the last time you (or your athlete) admitted to struggling? Be honest, and think about it! This is the first step towards your resilience building!

2. How does your team respond to mistakes or losses: with blame, or with support and learning?

3. Do you value emotional honesty as much as physical grit?

Now, what will you do with this information? That's on you. But, I hope you give it more thought and crave to make necessary changes that will work alongside you to master the goals and dreams you are set out for!

Altogether, mental toughness is not about being made of steel, it’s about being strong enough to bend, adapt, and grow. It’s a dynamic skill that flourishes in environments where honesty, support, and resilience are valued above performance at all costs.

Ready to redefine mental toughness on your team or in your family? Share how you’re building real resilience below.

Cheryl McCormick, Ed.D. (c), M.S.S., USATF-1