Article 31: Developing Confidence At An Early Age

Wouldn't you agree that most of our kids today, starting at a very young age are subjected to things that can create low or no self-esteem. These "things" can be from various situations in life such a trauma, being picked on, lack of approval or not accepted by others of the same age, continuous failure in school or a sport, extreme social media exposure to life that does not make sense to a kid, and more. However, it can be more common for younger kids to have high self-esteem until the tween years, when this issue can become more prominent.

From ages around 7-10, boys and girls begin to develop motor skills through exploratory activities. Naturally, babies begin developing different motor skills from around 4-7 months of age from things like crawling, sitting, walking, grasping, and more. It is important to understand what I mean by exploratory activities, as it is often considered to be things like physical activities, like sports. A basic definition of exploratory activities is unstructured activities through independant play or engagement that are open-ended. These activities can create opportunities for kids to explore, create, and discover new interactions with various things that are provided. For example, Play-Doh is a great activity in which kids can create through imagination while attempting to create things that they see, with no specific structure or process to follow through with.

Through the process of play, children can learn that it is okay to initially fail but learn to persist by creating new opportunities and solutions that will allow them to grow. Furthermore, this allows kids to view how others perform in various projects and tasks, while learning that it is okay to be different, and perform differently than others.

One of the biggest challenges I have observed through children at an early age is when they begin to compare oneself to others. This process can be witnessed through many activities like, sports. However, it can be difficult to always identify, as many young kids won't verbally express what they are seeing or how they are feeling, immediately. For example, when kids are playing at the playground with each other, you might occasionally whiteness a child standing and watching other kids instead of playing. They are observing. They might be wondering how other kids are doing certain things like climbing up a rope, or sliding down a big slide with no fear. However, it can be difficult to know what or how a child is thinking in this process. Is he/she scared? Is he/she sad? Is he/she frustrated? Is he/she feeling left out or unable to perform around others?

Sports however, can challenge many kids at young ages. You see, most parents place their children into sports with little to no knowledge of the sport and what sports offer or take away from kids. It has become such a norm for parents to immediately place their kid in activities, the minute they begin going to school. And, this is not always a bad thing. However, for some kids, it can subject them to problematic situations at an early age. Many kids remain silent and do not express lack of interest for playing sports for a long period of time. That is, until whatever is bothering them, persists to worsen over time.

A great way to break this process, is to allow them to discover new interests. Sports is not the only thing that a kid can do, nor is it the only thing that will give them exercise. Afterall, they are kids, and they have a large storage of energy! You see, it is okay to allow your child to say, "I don't want to play sports anymore, I would rather do something else." Naturally, a great rule of thumb would be to try and motivate your child to remain in the sport for at least a few months, to warm up to the process, rise to new occasions and learn to enjoy the sport and friends they can make in the process. If the child is still not taking to it after a few months, then change the sport or activity they are doing. Keeping a kid in a sport, regardless if the parent feels they have a future professional athlete on their hands, can cause more damage for the child's confidence, and can be a hard process to recover from, over time.

Physical skills development, is one of my favorite areas to educate parents in. Because we understand that play is one of the most important aspects to a kids life, play through physical skills development means that children can continue to explore their capabilities through activities that develop, confidence. Activities each week during summer, is a great way to help develop and strengthen this area among your kids. You can have your kids perform skills like dribbling a ball with just the left hand 10 times without losing the ball. Each week, increase the amount, then finally add in switching or passing of the ball from the right hand to the left hand, etc. The same process can be to jump rope, or balance on a bosu ball. You can challenge your young swimmer to tread water for 1 minute longer each week! Talk about confidence! This way, when they are ready to engage in activities with others, they lose the fear and lack of confidence around others. This process can be applied to other activities that are not considered to be on the physical level. Create brain busters and learning projects that can push them to think outside of their "normal" box. This can prepare them to enter a new school year, with confidence!

An old-school thought process is that it is okay to subject kids to things that will make them tougher. But when you think about it, are we actually making them, "tougher?" My goal is to make them, healthier and wiser. Not by subjecting them to bully's at an early age to learn how to take a mental beating, not by forcing them to do something that I want them to do, rather, for them to play, learn, love, and grow into what they will enjoy for life!

Cheryl McCormick, M.S.S.